So, i had a sleep study last night. I think its funny when you put words in somethings name that have nothing to do with the thing. Like the sleep in sleep study. I arrived to find i was staying in a nice room, with a bed that was far nicer than mine, with a/c and even cable tv. up until about 15 minutes in, everything was going great. I sat on the bed, ate my cereal, and watched the yankee game. Then, the technician came in and said “okay, time to get ready for your study.” and instructed me to sit in a chair. At this point, he began placing electrodes all over my head and body, with what seemed like masking tape and rubber cement. all the wires from these went into a 20 pound box that i carried around my neck . i got to go to the bathroom, and then it was time to sleep. when i got in bed, he put more electrodes on me and gave me a breathing tube to put in my nose. then, they draped a tangle of of 40 or so wires across me and said “okay,sleep now”. And so i tried. Unfortunately, my Dart Vader-esque tangle of wires was like “nah, we’re gonna choke you instead”. Apparently, you are pretty much only allowed to sleep on your back there. So i fell asleep for a while, until i moved my leg and ripped a quarter sized patch of hair off when the electrode came loose. Eventually, i fell back asleep. Until, unable to move, leg cramps set in. And i was helpless. It sucked to not be able to address my problem, but the tech came in and let me walk them off. since i was forced to sleep on my back, and almost never do, i actually experienced sleep apnea. This was good for the test, but scary as all get out for me, as i would open my eyes to find i couldn’t breathe. subsequently, i couldn’t really move yet either because i wasn’t awake, just conscious of what was happening. this happened 3, count em, 3 times. when i woke up in the morning, the tech said “you will most likely be coming back to get treated.” with that i left, and went home to wash the rubber cement out of my hair. I meant to be funnier in this one, but i’m honestly still upset about it.

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